The mature submissive...

I was just reading an interesting post in the 'mature women' group I'm a member of in Fetlife...

The mature submissive

by jackrokxx 

I have always found mature and very mature women very appealing. The mature submissive woman knows her needs, her limits and her desires. Many sub women live in vanilla marriages and have only found Ds after years of being disinterested in vanilla. I find these ladies to be stronger, deeper and much more adventurous than new younger subs. Many wish to explore their bi side.
Mature sub women are fascinating beautiful and very satisfying--Have other members (men or women) discovered this?

He is 55 yrs old so I'll let him off. Personally I don't want to be objectified as a 'mature woman' by someone who is not mature themselves. As in, I find young blokes into mature women, irritate the **** out of me. Go away! Maybe they assume we want their young gangly.........Nah!

Anyway. Where was I..."The mature submissive woman knows her needs" Yes. I know my needs, but I doubt my needs will ever be satisfied ever again, lol...

...her limits...Yes & how she wants to feel when those limits are being pushed...

...& her desires...I definitely know my desires...

Well I'm glad he has had good experiences playing with us more mature-ish sub women. Though, I did not go from 'newbie' to mature-ie, in 0- whatever. It is not that black & white. There was no...18 to 40 {The average age range in most personals} 'Don't know my own mind, don't know my own needs, don't know what I desire. Reach my 41st birthday...WOW! I know my own mind now. OMFG! I desire that...I need! that...

I know. I'm being facetious. I just can't help myself. So in another 10 years time, when I'm in my 50's. Will I have another eureka moment? I can't wait...

Here is my own response. Though I think I was talking loads of bollocks! Because I was holding back. I always hold back. Sometimes I should just go for it & speak my mind. After all before 40. My mind was a fog!...Eh?

sub_idris:

I got into spanking 12 years ago as a young 35 year old. At that time I was treated like I was 'Wooo!' fresh meat, a young sub. Only goes to show how things have changed in the way the scene is in the last decade, now the young subs are more likely to be in their 20's. Good luck to them...

As a 35 year old I feel I still went through a learning curve, learning more about what I enjoy in play. I learned it was definitely play for me. I would say I knew my own mind from the beginning. At the moment I feel as if I had the great play with my then Dom of 7+ years & now 12 years on age 47 yrs old, I feel I have to start all over again...

I suppose you could say I am at a crossroads in my sub life. I know what I want, but it is finding the right Dom to play with. Just wanting to spank me is not enough. I was bi curious, that part of me was for my husband, we explored that part together,but that ended in disaster. For me it comes down to not only knowing my own mind, it comes down to meeting the right people...

Meeting the right people...Hmmm! Not easy when you do not think like the average person, lol...

The other comments are quite interesting. Definitely not the same way of thinking, but hey. Thats me...

LadyMonterey:

Welcome to the group @jackrolxx!

I agree that a mature submissive woman can be someone who knows what she needs or wants which is no different than the mature woman who decides or has the opportunity to be a Domme.

But I'm more likely to support the thought that mature does not mean one knows what she or he wants or needs. Being single is usually the catalyst to exploring that, or the married couple who feels something is missing. But there again, not everyone will be honest or able to see or get beyond fixed habits and thoughts, to know what they need.

As for exploring the bi-side ... I'm not sure it matters what age.

I know this isn't the answer you were looking for. I'm just throwing some thoughts out there.

I agree with Lady M...

" But I'm more likely to support the thought that mature does not mean one knows what she or he wants or needs. Being single is usually the catalyst to exploring that, or the married couple who feels something is missing. But there again, not everyone will be honest or able to see or get beyond fixed habits and thoughts, to know what they need. "

 I like the way she thinks...

Its like this miraculous age...Suddenly I am supposed to know exactly what I want & need. Now I just need the right man...

...& another comment...

cam1949:

I am in agreement with both of you. About a year after I was widowed, I decided to drop the "baggage" I was carrying and move forward. I did become stronger and very adventurous, and very bi.

I consider myself to be a switch but I do tend toward my submissive side. While there, I find myself to be more intense and very responsive since I immerse myself into my sexuality to my and my partner's benefit. I am less likely to transform into a domme. I will do so if it becomes evident that my lover wants me in that role. I love to provide pleasure and will do that in either persona.

So I guess you are both right. Being single and mature turned out to be the perfect storm for transforming me and deepening my sexuality.

Wow! Good for her...

Basically, what it comes down to with me...& it has always been this way. Not just since reaching the miraculous 'mature' age. I can't be doing with all the drama & 'community' mindedness which seems to come with finding a Dom in the frigging scene...

I end up feeling frustrated...Not angry, negative frustration, nooo! nothing that black & white. I know some peeps like to assume that one word used by me in my blog defines me as a person...{Rolls my eyes} Now that frustrates me...

Gotta go.......................................................