over the knee spankings with real tears (receiving),

I added a new wossy to my fetish list on Fetlife. It's a pity I can't add 'With a Dom I trust enough to let myself go, completely, trusting that he won't go far & cause me lasting damage'...

over the knee spankings with real tears (receiving),

Mind you, I have to feel emotional to cry when being spanked. Usually I avoid playing when I feel too emotional, or not in the mood. I had a not so good experience from being caned to tears. Maaaybe because I was expecting private play, it was more 'Mister centre of attention & an audience' I did not cry, I sobbed my heart out...Not good...

Another time I ending up crying during a caning. I ended up sobbing 'Please stop, I can't take anymore' That was when I was spanked to being totally submissive, now I hold on tight to my emotions...but with the right Dom...& not leading to me sobbing...I don't like the feeling of losing control of my emotions...

What's in it for me? Great 'spanking' play, with people I like & consider me as a friend...

What's in it for me with polyamory

Goes to look up polyamory. I just keep thinking jackanory...Or is that to do with wanking? Sorry, I will go & google polyamory...

polyamory

ˌpɒliˈam(ə)ri/

noun

1. the practice of engaging in multiple sexual relationships with the consent of all the people involved.

Sounds good to me, but the emphasis being on 'sexual relationships'. Not available for casual, nooo fees exchanged, nooo strings. There has to be a friendship. I am not into 'bottom collectors' Which is usually the 'nooo strings' 'nooo fees exchanged' brigade...

Whats wrong with being a friend, its not like I'm going to suddenly full in love & start demanding daily attention, because I desperately NEED! attention. I'm not going to get all clingy, possessive & Jealous. I don't do clingy, possessive, jealous, needy, attention seeking, I never have, neither have I wanted 'Exclusive' Just respectful, treated like a friend, no grief from some blokes other fem wossy...

I feel so disappointed sometimes...

Anyway...

I was reading this good journal, writing wossy on Fetlife...

I am going to do my dissection thing again...

What's in it for me with polyamory

Journal Entry | 11 Comments · 18 Love It | By DK

I've chatted to a lot of different people and quite often when the conversation comes round to the fact I like to play with different people there's lots of questions. What's in it for you with polyamoroy? What do you get from playing with different people? Why don't you just want one partner?

I was surprised by this...Because the people I talk to, seem to be into casual encounters with lots of people. Fair enough...Then I was thinking, maybe I attract the casual 'no strings' peeps, because I am mainly into spanking, or because I put on my profile that I am a very quiet introvert. I dunno...

The thing I've learned over a perod of time is that given the same bag of kit to play with different people will do different things. 

Yeess! I used to love party play...Though party play was fun & different &..................One to one play with my Dom, was always so much better. Because we could go deeper & do more. Being that we knew each other well, the trust was there...Party play is more casual 'fun' play for about 15 minutes, whereas one to one play was a long, intense 2-3 hours, where I often ended up sooo relaxed, floating off somewhere in my own, well, subbie world...

Party play was, meet a complete stranger, have a chat, play for about 15 minutes, then sit down for some red wine & more chat, in my own 'introvert' way...

Some will choose completely different areas for their focus - 

My focus with my then 'Sir' was...well...regular, long, deep, intense thrashing...

My focus at a party...Ohhh! Wow! Over the knee HARD! spanking...OMFG! I LOVE THIS!!! Passionate 'HARD!' spanking with a leather paddle, but it was sooo! Intense & 'Mmmm!' Because I had industrial ear muff woosies & I was blindfolded...etc etc etc....

one may like to do impact play another may like to tie me up.

Impact play...Restrained...'Mmmm!'...but with the right Dom for me 'One to one at my home'...Party play is different, because there are other people around, so safer to play with strangers, without the 'Getting to know you/them'

 Often the one who ties me in the most amazing ways can't do impact for nuts and vice versa. 

I can understand that...

The skills required to do both well take a fair bit of time to develop so lots of people specialise!

Skill does come into spanking, but I'm not sure about specializing. I suppose if you're into canning, you learn more about caning, flogging, you learn all about flogging & collect many floggers, etc...

However even given two people who love impact play, using the same implement, the sensation is different. 

Yes. Some better then others...

They build the play differently, they use the implement in different ways. It's just different!

Some differences for good, others not so good...

I've had a few people think it's all about a race to see who can hurt me the most and that couldn't be further from the case!

Hmmm! Not good. It's not a competition...

 Yes with some people I can be a bit of a painslut and bring out a sadist some weren't aware was in them. 

{HeeHee} Me too...but there has to be trust, there has to be a close connection, as in 'friendship'. Otherwise it is just like going through the motions...

But others I can play really gently with and STILL come away really fulfilled by the experience. It's not a competition.

Yep!

What it IS is a unique expression of my relationship with that person. 

Yes. I can see what she means by that...It doesn't have to mean 'love'...'Exclusive'...'Daily attention'...It is about 'people' being different, being themselves, not being creepy, arrogant dudes, with women issues...

 

What we have is individual to us. 

Yes...'Individual'...To 'US!'...Not one of many, one of the community, compared to so & so. That goes both ways...

I won't do anything quite the same with one person as I do with another (even if I do pinch ideas for future play). 

Yep!

It's not the case that X marked her so I have to leave my mark.

Exactly...

If I choose to play with you it's because I like YOU because of who you are. 

Yep! Exactly...but if I don't know you as a friend, only that you want an arrangement, that you're more interested in spanking my bottom, then knowing me as a person...As in being a 'friend'...Don't panic, being friends, knowing each other as friends, does not mean I so desperately WANT! you & I want daily attention from you, for you to be my 'exclusive' Dom...

If I choose to play with you I don't want you to try to match or exceed someone else, 

Yep!

 

I want to experience our unique expression of kink because of how we connect. 

Yep!...Don't panic, that does not mean 'deep' meaningful 'exclusive' love EVERY! SINGLE! DOMLY! SLAVEY! day...It means you know where I am as well & its not all about 'Arrange play' nooo input in between...

I just want to relax and let the endorphins flow through the way YOU play and enjoy being with you!

Yes! Exactly...The ultimate in relaxation...& soooo! 'Mmmm!'...

EDIT: A comment made to me privately has made me realise I hadn't fully expressed the key element. It's always less about the play and all about the relationship - 

Yes...Me too, otherwise it just feels like going through the motions...Playing with a friend is so much better then playing with a cold, distant, on occasion, casual, nooo strings, nooo fees exchanged 'Stranger' Who wants a pro sub arrangement, but as a freebie...Because that is how it feels...'Cold!' 'Distant!' 'Going through the motions' 'Me Dom, you mere bottom'...Not good...

the sharing on many levels with the person. I rarely play with people I don't care about deeply and see myself growing to love. 

Hmmm! Only love as a close friend. I am married to the love of my life. Fondness, yes. Care about their feelings, yes...

That's why for me play is an expression of that relationship, it's a lot more than just hitting me or tying me

Well said her...

Self Spanking Domly Dude Is Back To Dom Me-PMSL! {at my age, I'm likely to...}

Self spanking? On Cam- Whilst Some Little Dom Dude Wanks Off......

Oo! Little Domly dude is back...

written 24 minutes ago:

You are crazy ! Go to see a doctor you need that...

I need that? Where in my response to his patronising, {2 months later} Pm, am I crazy. What did he learn that from his Daddy? If his Mum reacted, did she get accused of being crazy? lol...For a 23 yo, he has certainly learned how to be a patronising, disrespectful to elders, little oik...

written 24 minutes ago:

And i was respectful with you but i think that the word "respect" don't mean nothing for you

Awww! Didums!...What is it they call it, in RTS...Butthurt? I like that word. It sums up the attitude of these little dick dudes, who are being disrespectful in a way, when sending unsolicited messages to women, without having the common courtesy to read her profile...Someone needs to learn that being a entitled, conceited, arrogant, patronising, little know it all to a woman, old enough to be his Mum...After her being polite...Is well...Pretty shitty behaviour...I don't need the crap from some spoiled little boy...If my son behaved like that & sent messages to women like that. I would hope that I brought him up to know that 'No means no'...To know that his behaviour & attitude has 'Consequences'...

Crazy enough?

My response...

I was respectful to you, in my response to your original Pm...

You decided, 2 months later to respond again, in a patronising, arrogant way. Hence my reply being not so caring of your ego...

Respect is earned, not expected, Just because you call yourself 'Dom'...In general, people don't take kindly to being patronised, especially by someone who has so obviously not bothered to read their profile, yet assumes he knows best...

My last response, 2 months ago. Go & read that, that is where you should have left it....

I wonder if he is going to let it drop. I could block him, couldn't I. Be the grown up, rise above, ignore him...We'll see...Sometimes I feel these people need to be told a few home truths about their behaviour in the scene, towards women...Just save us the hassle & read a womans profile. Its that simple. Ohh! & a polite 'thank you, but no thank you' take that a a 'no thank you' not a 'patronise the dumb woman into agreeing that I am soooo right'...

Yes. In YOUR! head you are right, but...I disagree. I disagreed in a polite 'respectful way'. You're the disrespectful, patronising, entitled, arrogant, egotistical one, matey. You should have left it at 'my polite' decline of your offer {Which is not on my fetish list} Crazy woman enough. Hmmm?

Self spanking? On Cam- Whilst Some Little Dom Dude Wanks Off......

Here we go again. Another dickwad...

written 2 months ago:

Hi my name is jean,i'm from france and i love beautiful women like you.I have found your profile and I immediately saw that we have many points in common .I'm a dom with some experience in all this and i'm intrested in online relationship that's why i'm in fetlife.i will take care and spoil the right person.

Hope to read you soon!

Jean is 23 yrs old...

I was polite...

written 2 months ago:

Hi Jean

Thank you for your message. I have never thought about having a on line D/s relationship before. I can't see how that could work,because I am into being spanked by a Dom/spanker, not really into being Dommed. As I see that too much to do with the mind...

Also, you are a lot younger then me, so in my mind have less experience of life then me & you're the same age as my 2nd child. I don't mean to sound rude, but that is how I see it, so I could not be Dommed by you...

Take care,
K x

Then...

written about 9 hours ago:

Hi ! First sorry for the late i was very busy...

Hmmm! 2 months too late, lol...Busy? Or he moved on to some other online arses, then when they were no longer into interacting with virtual Dom boy...Well...

Spanking is a form of domination, and you can receive a spanking online. 

Is it now...I never would have worked that one out for myself...{Rolls my eyes}

You never tried self spanking ? 

"Grrr!!!" Patronising, arrogant little man..."*uck off!!!" Have you ever punched yourself in the knob, online...Hmmm? Disrespectful little oik!

Some women prefer self spanking because it's more intensive than tradtional one. 

Really?...Okaaaay!

And i travel soo much so if we are attracted to each others i can give you a traditional spanking when i will be in UK.

Yeah! I'm sure my husband would love that. Some little french dude coming to give his wife a traditional spanking...

I have more experience in life than a lot of "mature" guys age is just figures that not mean nothing. 

Okay! Little arrogant dude...You have more life experience in your 23 years, then a man in his 50's, 60's, 70's...Not!

 

And i was the dom of a 62 years old sub.

I just vomited a little in my mouth. Call me a prude, but...Its just the thought of some 62 yo woman, allowing a boy young enough to be her grandson, to do something so sexual & intimate to her. If he is telling the truth, I hope she was one of these really good looking women in their 60's, but...Ummm!

I know its double standards, what with the amount of old geezers, who spank girls young enough to be their granddaughter...To me it is a self respect thing...I mean my little granddaughter will have a step granddad who is younger then her daddy. My son in law's Mum, not me...

Anyway. The little french dude pee'd me off...My 'less polite' response. My...'I am not in the mood for patronising little dicks like you' response...

Where on my profile does it mention that I am into self spanking?

To me spanking is sexual, sensual, erotic, pleasure from pain, if the Dom is too serious, talking down to me, talking at me, treating me like I am being punished, that is a big turn off to me...

So is being 'Dominated' by a boy 24 yrs younger then me. To me that is not sexual, or domination, that is a young boy wanking over the old lady, which he thinks is hilarious, that she fell for being used as a sex object...

So. If some young bloke was getting your Mum to spank herself on cam & he was laughing at her, whilst wanking...Hmmm? Not good...& if she was dumb enough to allow that, then surely she needs to see a psychiatrist...

To me....The 62 yo woman, allowing a kid to so called dominate her, has she got no self respect. Hmmm?

As for life experience at the age of 23 yrs, the fact you believe you have more life experience then a man in his 60's. Nooo! I very much doubt that. That comes across as quite arrogant & disrespectful...

Please go & find a sub equal to your age & experience...

I am not into arrogant little dudes, who want me to spank myself on cam...

I should add...If I gave the impression on my profile, that I am into being dominated on line & self spanking, fair enough..."Each to their own"...but I have not given that impression...Read the darn profile, you little Domly fellow...

Can you imagine, little dude, in his bedroom, in his parents house, wanking whilst some 'mature woman' spanks herself on cam...I hope he has got a lock on his door & that his parents are not silent creeping parents, who don't knock, lol...

Please! I have more self respect...then being wank fodder for some rampant, horney, raging hormone, sexually frustratated little man...on cam...

Nuff said...

This Is A Long Winded 'Feminist' Outrage Post - I Don't Need To Calm Down 'Luv' - I'm Quite Chillaxed...

Yep!
It's not all about
playing games
with lots of bottoms...
That just sounds so wrong,
well, maybe not if you're into anal...
Which I'm not,
so if your fetish list is all anal
'anal this anal that, anal-anal-anal
& nooo mention of spanking,
why are you Pm'ing me exactly?
Just read the darn profile...

I just read this in Fetlife, one of my fetlife friends commented on it...I thought I would share it & dissect it, as I do, because I feel it is about time these blokes started to use their brains, not just their dicks, or ego's...

Ego's as in 'It's not sexual' It's about control, yeah that feeling of control can be sexy, but it is also bordering on emotional abuse & narcissistic tendencies. So...THAT IS WHY AS A WOMAN I NEED TO 'GET TO KNOW YOU!!!'...Jeeze!

Ohhh! dear...am I not being all lovely & subbie...Tough!

Ohhh! dear am I ranting, am I being a bitch, just calm down luv! Actually I'm quite chillaxed at the moment as I type this...

Here goes...

I Used My Safe Word

Journal Entry | By LMM

'Mmmm!'
That is how I see play...

Any one who has seen me play, or has played with me, knows that I don't generally use my safe word. Why? Because I trust the people I play with and I feel safe.

That is how I used to feel about safe words...Right up until I could not take as much as I used to...

Last night, after Daddy left, a friend came round for coffee and a chat. So far, so good.

He told me that I needed a beating, something about it being for my own good, to teach me not to be so trusting.

Eh?

There was no negotiation. He didn't bother to ask me how long it was since I last played (a couple of days) or how sore I already was.

Selfish, irresponsible, Jerk!

Hmmm! We know what he went there intending to do...

So why do some Dom blokes {Well lots} prefer the feel of non consensual, or even non consensual, instead of the sub loving it & getting pleasure from it...

But, okay. He's a friend, right? He wouldn't deliberately damage me.

Hmmm! He doesn't sound much like a friend to me, he sounds more like a selfish, A hole, c**t with women issues, as he does not see how he is not entitled to do what he wants, because his a Dom...Twat!

So it began, and I have to admit that it was quite pleasant, at first. Painful, but pleasant.

Then something changed. Something deep within my soul felt very very not safe.

Hmmm! Scary! Women do have feeling's, we're not there just to be used & abused by some A hole, prick!

"redredRedRedRedRedREDREDREDREDREDRED..."

"I don't play with safe words"

Dafuq??? This wasn't agreed to

Ohhh! What a c**t!

I told him to get the fuck out of my house. 

Good for her, it is her home, her body...Friggin, ignorant, c**t!

He got cross and told me never to say that again. I froze.

Wow! He really is a piece of work, isn't he...Personally I would have scared the crap out of him, to get out of my house. Apparently I am scary when I lose my temper...but if you are not that way inclined. Having to deal with an arrogant, abusive, A hole, c**t, like that, would be scary...

Here I was, trapped in my own home, being assaulted (cos, yes, once 'consent' has been removed, it's assault), and there was nothing I could do except endure it.

Yes, that was assault..."Real life still applies"

So, he very successfully taught me a lesson that i didn't need about trust. There are currently only three or four people that I will allow close enough to me to even touch my skin, let alone hurt me.

Lets hope she spread his name far & wide around Fetlife...& all the sub women steer clear...

So, thank you, my friend. Job done

Hmmm! I feel for her...It is not supposed to be about 'beating' a woman to teach her to fear you, so she learns not to trust? Where did the scum bag get that piece of domination logic from?

Lets hope his balls go purple & drop off. He sounds like he needs castrating...{Smiles sweetly}

Hmmm! Yet blokes still expect us to meet them & play with them, complete strangers, because they are too lazy to make the effort to get to know us, or allow us to make up our minds if we feel we want to do something so risky & intimate with them...

I read things like this & I wonder why I am bothering to get back into playing. Let alone trying to meet a new Dom, there are so many c**ts out there, like that abusive A hole...

The thing is. Putting on my blinkers, trying to see all scene peeps as lovely, like minded, playmates...That would be pretty dumb of me. It is supposed to be about 'adult' mutual fun, it is supposed to be about pleasure 'Safe, sane & consensual'...

I don't need some tight arse, who wants to make arrangements, for casual, on occasion, nooo strings, no fees exchanged, treat it like he is visiting a pro...& cut the friggin sarcasm will you, I don't need to allow some sarcastic geezer into my home to do something so intimate to me...

If I want to play with you, I will play with you...Its that simple, but I can't be doing with defensive little 'passive agressive' dudes & don't get me started on the 'Domly' geezers...

OHHHH! MYYYY! GOSH!!! I used the word c**t! more then once, I am soooo! bad. I deserve to be punished, for daring to use sweary words...*uck off!!!

Nuff said for now...